Hrmm. Inkheart Movie, You Sucketh.

Wow, I've been M.I.A. for a bit huh? Well, as you all may know by now, I am a huge Inkheart fan. I have been waiting for the movie to come out for some time now, and today I finally made it over to the theatre to see it. Spoilers (probably) are ahead. So if you want to go see this movie and haven't yet, turn back now. :p If you LOVED this movie, turn back now, because I am going to be brutal about this.

I both loved and hated it for so many reasons. Sadly I have to admit, I think I hated it more than I loved it. As a movie, it smelled so bad I feel like I could drive down to wherever the people live that adapted it just by following the smell alone and then smacking the crap out of them while shouting out wonderments on if they were high or not while they were turning that great book into a horrifyingly done movie, with very few parts that were worth seeing.

But first, the love. Hee! I loved, LOVED Andy Serkis as Capricorn, but I must admit, I think his role could have been done (written) a little better, not to mention having just more of a role in this movie when Capricorn was such an important character in the book. I don't think they captured the spirit of the book at all really. But, I think Brendan Fraser was perfect as Mo. I couldn't imagine anyone else as Mo. Especially since I read the books and had his face in my mind every time Mo was even just mentioned in the books. Meggie was perfect too! Eliza Bennett did a great job. Seeing the characters "come to life" was simply great. I think my other favorite characters would have to be Elinor, Farid, Darius and Fenoglio. I didn't like Dustfinger in the movie. The fire dancing was awesome though. I positively loved that. That's all I loved. Oh, I have a favorite quote from the movie, Farid was so damn lovable, the quote comes from him "I don't want to go back into my stinking book." What the heck? lol. I think pretty much everyone in the theatre laughed at that.

And now I am afraid I am going to have to do some shredding. This will not be pleasant so please avert your eyes if you do not like seeing bloody movie claws. And please remember, that if I piss you off enough for you to hit that comment button because for some reason you absolutely loved this movie, that I have the right to my own opinion (as do you, of course), that this is my blog, and that your comment will just be ignored. Because I already know I don't want to talk about this movie with anyone, I just want to blab about it right now and then try to forget it. I have to. Okay? Okay!

Reasons I hated this movie: It was too...smushed together. It was like some dip-hole just took all of the important events of the story and crammed them into an hour and a half. I don't know how Ms. Funke could let this be done to her lovely intriguing and adventurous story. But it was. I mean, what was the problem? A budget thing? Creative differences? Movie-rights problems so she couldn't be more involved? What?! It was so disappointing in many ways. I realize that sometimes things in a book just cannot be converted to the screen and just look right, it's just not possible, but oh my goodness. I don't think Inkheart was one of those books. I think it was a pretty easy read and it should have made a pretty easy movie, no? Maybe it's just me...

Anyhoozer, what the heck, were all the story-animals doing there? I don't remember them in the first book. Or any of the books. Why would Capricorn waste his time with such pre-school villain things? I mean come on, the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz?!! I do not think so. While it was interesting to see them and, highly amusing by way of the crocodile from Peter Pan, "alive," they were just unfitting. And the books whispering. I liked it in the book shop, but when it returned while they were reading, annoying. Call me crazy, but maybe they should have narrated this story. It definitely should have gone smoother and they should have stuck to the book way more. They shouldn't have made Dustfinger turn out to be such a selfish-jerk at times. Mortola should have been more present. And oh, the ink on the faces of the people/animals Darius read out. Not a completely bad symbol, but a poor choice to stick in the movie. Yuck. I don't think there is going to be a part two movie because they tied up everything pretty tight, and for that I am thankful. Because then I will not have to be excited and then annoyingly dashed again at how awful a movie this book was really turned into. Even with all those little things I said I loved about it, it still just didn't feel worth it. So, if they manage to make a part two, I'll probably still be thrilled (at the hope of seeing the Inkworld and the Black Prince), but not enough to live or die by it and then come out severely annoyed like I am now.

So. That's my meanie two cents on this film! Which didn't come out as brutal as I initially thought it might.